Tuesday, January 11, 2005

confessions of a chinese Singaporean in nyc



1. i hate singapore.

1i. singapore has this weird accent which sounds totally horrible next to everyone's european and international accents and everyone cannot understand what im trying to say... i.e. you only ever feel comfortable with another singaporean.

1i result. attempt to remove accent from voice immediately. trust me... you'll know what im talking about when you enter a predominantly european or american culture.



1ii. singapore is one of the few places where Chinese is both a mother tongue and second language? How can a mother tongue BE a second language? its not SECOND??!! and I am embarressed when i say - oh my chinese isn't very good. yes i am embarressed. very very embarressed. my mum speaks hokkien and my dad speaks cantonese.... its sad that i don't know either.

1ii result. improve chinese. i have no idea how but... yeah. lets include learning cantonese here also.


1iii. theres nuthing nice to sae about it. Oh SURE singapore has beautiful scenery and great shopping and lots of fun things to do? LIKE NOTTT?? maybe for... waht 2 hours? im like - im from singapore and people reply - oh... erh... that's cool... then theres this pause. and im like -you've never heard of it rite? and they are like -yeah. YURKS

1iii result. take the first opportunity possible to evacuate the ENtire island of people. then salt the island. detach it from malaysia and let it float away. pretend it never existed.



2. i hate genetics. [sometimes i think i only have half a brain]

2i. absolute tone-deafness + no clue how the music scale works + haf no idea why sum scores are considered MasterpIEces when they are the worst disgusting combination of sounds i have ever heard = no music ever. ever ever ever. = no connection with anyone who plays music = all the world's aspiring musicians.

2ii. zero creativity + clumsy + colorblind = no art ever and ever also. i actually enjoy art... only everyone else doesn't enjoy my art. basically whenever i do art... i'll remember to lock the door and then burn it when I'm done. *throws artpieces into the fire*


-to be continued- repairmen coming to fix blinds... hafta evacuate room.